Beyond

In the post I made earlier entitled “A Geek’s Toolkit Supplement: Loaded USB Drive ” I spoke of what I described as “branding files”: Files that I add to the operating system to indicate that I am supplier, builder, and maintenance tech for a particular computer.

I can hear your brains whirring; so before you start thinking that I’m up to something naughty I’ll show you exactly what I mean. Oh yes; this only works if you have Windows XP installed, so don’t go trying it with a Linux or a OSX installation and then comment that I’ve messed up your operating system or “I can’t find those files in Ubuntu!” - “It doesn’t work with Leopard!” You’re quite right; it doesn’t - So be forewarned.

If this information has already been added to your operating system by the manufacturer then I suggest it best to just leave it anyway.

(Why are you playing about with your computer like this anyway? What do you hope to achieve? Oh well; your problem, not mine.)

The aim of the exercise is to customise Windows XP’s general tab in the System Properties dialogue box that you call up by right-clicking the My Computer icon and selecting Properties.

This customisation involves adding support contract information and a logo. It involves using only Notepad and whatever program you like to use to create a 256-colour bitmap.

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OK let’s start with the details: I won’t tell you exactly what details I put for computers that I build; so for this exercise we’ll assume that these details are regarding a computer built by the Acme Computer Corporation:

The computer is a Datamax, model 55102. Support line is 1-800-ACME…

Open Notepad and type the following text, replacing the example with your company’s details etc:

[General]

Manufacturer=Acme Computer Corporation

Model=Datamax 55102

[Support Information]

Line 1=Call 1-800-ACME for technical support

Line 2=  support [at] OMG [dot] acmecomputer [dot] com.invalid

Line 3=500 Billion Byte Drive

Line 4=Pixelgraphicsville, USA

Save this file to %windir%\Windows\System32 as Oeminfo.ini

Create a 256-colour bitmap of your company’s logo that is no more than 96X96 pixels in size. Save this file to %windir%\Windows\system32 as Oemlogo.bmp

Yes I deliberately soiled the picture: ‘Better safe than sorry.

To see the results either right-click on the My Computer icon or press the Windows and the Break key simultaneously.

And that’s how it’s done - No registry edits, no hacking into anything. This is a white box system builder’s trick; but it’s no massive secret. The files aren’t permanent anyway; if you remove them or reinstall your operating system the dialogue box reverts to default.

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Today, after a week of iPhone battery jokes and chidings aimed at a certain iPhone user I know online, whose iPhone battery died very quickly on Monday last, I thought it an idea to have a look into the topic of iPhone batteries a bit more deeply with a little research. A quick Google search revealed 16,300,000 results for iPhone batteries. Quite obviously I wasn’t intending to read them all, and as it happened the first one that I clicked on inspired me to write this blog entry:

The following was what I found at http://www.apple.com/uk/support/iphone/service/battery/ : Basically it describes Apple’s method of further ripping off the customer post purchase in the event that their battery becomes useless and fails to retain its charge. (I wonder exactly how long that will be? Has anyone actually reached this point already? If so then do please feel free to comment. - Otherwise do feel free to comment anyway.)

The page in question is officially entitled “iPhone Out-of-Warranty Battery Replacement Program Frequently Asked Questions” and begins with the question “What is the iPhone Battery Replacement Program?”

Many iPhone users will be glad to know that there is an official battery-replacement program - Until they hear the cost of it. The article says:

“If your iPhone requires service only because the battery’s ability to hold an electrical charge has diminished, Apple Technical Support will replace your battery for a service fee. Be sure to follow these instructions for optimizing life span and battery life before submitting your iPhone for battery replacement. “

The instructions in question say; in a most roundabout and lengthy manner, that the more use you give your iPhone the less time your battery will remain charged: That’s quite logical I suppose. The catch is, as with all rechargeable batteries, the more you recharge the batteries the less you’ll get out of them: Fair comment. It then goes into great detail about ways of not using your iPhone so that the battery’s charge lasts longer. (Following which it instructs you to “Use your iPhone regularly”.) I find it rather strange that Apple made a product that is to be used as little as possible; but as we’ll note later, this is a caveat for the process of charging you a fortune to replace a dead battery. “Jobsweh(1)“, the god of all things Apple, is a greedy and profitmongering god who likes to milk his people for every dime that they posses after they sell themselves into bondage with him by buying one of his products.

The article continues:

“How can I set up my iPhone for the Battery Replacement Program?”

“You can take your iPhone to your carrier. You can also contact Apple Technical Support or take your iPhone to an Apple Retail Store.”

Yippee-doo; thank you Apple for being so helpful. Now here’s the sting in the tail:

“How much does it cost to participate in the program?”

“The program cost is £ 55 (includes VAT), plus £ 7.29 shipping and handling, includes VAT. All fees are in Euros. Service may not be available if your iPhone has been damaged due to accident or abuse. Please review Apple’s Repair Terms and Conditions for further details.”

EH?! Fifty-five quid to replace a f—ing battery! That’s over $100 USD; and only “if your iPhone has [not] been damaged due to accident or abuse.” - Accident such as the case accidentally disintegrating perhaps? Abuse such as allowing the case to disintegrate in the first place?

Moving on:

“How long will service take?”

“Service through Apple Technical Support normally takes one week (five business days) from the date the unit is shipped to us. Time may vary if it is done through your carrier or an Apple Retail Store.”

Oh the geeks are gonna love that! A whole week PLUS shipping time without the iPhone: $100USD+ to be without your iPhone for 2 weeks; maybe more? Apple are the biggest con out there today - And people moan about Microsoft! - Er, reality check: Wake up!

This may be the answer you’re looking for:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XlkKQoUlOQg

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———–

1. Credit to DedRyzing ( http://twofourtech.com/ ) for naming the divinity of Steve Jobs.

A very useful icon to have on your desktop, if you’re like me and use this function a lot, would be a Sleep or Hibernate icon: You could just click a single icon on the desktop and the computer goes for a snooze, one way or another, depending on how it’s set.

Unfortunately Microsoft, in their infinite wisdom, didn’t include a Sleep or Hibernate desktop icon by default in XP - But fear not: You can create your own:

It’s just an icon that sits on the desktop with all the rest of them.

How to make an icon to click (Done in XP.):

Right-click on a blank area of your desktop (Where there are no icons.) and mouse-over “New” in the box that appears. Click “Shortcut”. Another box appears asking you to type the location of the item: Enter in the full command:

“%windir%\system32\rundll32.exe powrprof.dll,SetSuspendState”

and click next.

It now asks you to type a name for this shortcut: I named mine, strangely enough, “Sleep or Hibernate”. Why? Because it’s a shortcut icon to make the computer sleep or hibernate - innit?.

Click next, the box vanishes, and an icon appears on your desktop. - Target neutralised.

Any time you want to make the computer sleep or hibernate, just click the icon: It really is that simple!

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Sleep or Hibernate?

Do you want your computer to sleep or to hibernate when you click that icon?

Which one it does will depend on the following setting:

Right-click on a blank area of your desktop (Where there are no icons.)

Click Properties>Screen Saver tab>Power button>Hibernate tab.

If you’re in the right place it’ll look like the picture above: ‘See the tick box marked “Enable Hibernation”? If that’s ticked the computer will hibernate when you click your new icon. If it isn’t the computer will sleep when you click your new icon. - You choose which; after all it’s your machine.

And that, dear reader(s); is that. - Target neutralised.

See also: http://www.pcmech.com:80/article/change-how-your-power-button-operates/

—–

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BT have messed up again! I tried to access this website via the normal ftp channel that I use to upload and download files, and the server returned an invalid address error. I checked my ftp settings on my Fasthosts account, which were correct; but still got the same result. I uninstalled and reinstalled my ftp client, FileZilla, inputted the correct settings - same result. I downloaded WS-FTP-LE , set it up, and got the same result with that too. I phoned Fasthosts who said that all BT customers had exactly the same problem since BT had introduced new  measures to combat spam and illegal downloading via P2P earlier.

What that means is that BT have introduced a new piece of equipment into the loop that looks for anything it doesn’t like and blocks it. It saw my ftp, which it passed to the server, the server responded but the BT equipment saw the response and blocked it. My ftp client didn’t get a response and assumed that there wasn’t one; hence its response.

This is all connected with this stupid illegal unworkable UK government initiative to kerb illegal downloads that I reported on earlier. http://kkomp.com/archives/629 I asked how long did they think it would take for the problem to be remedied. They said it should only take a few hours, that they were kicking and screaming at BT, and that BT had assigned some of their top technicians to the case.

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2 Hours later I phoned BT : After following through several stages of a complicated menu I was played the message

“Welcome to BT broadband…we’re closed…” in short. “…For faults only please ring…” I did.; I endured the boring drivel about how BT record all phone calls and that if I had a problem with the internet service I could visit their website…A bit like saying

“If your car won’t start why not drive round to our garage and we’ll have it fixed in no time at all.”

“…please phone 0800…” was the message before the phone went dead: I redialed again and endured the same drivellous messages before…

“Om-put-put-ding-ding saab. Welcomming to BT. Please be to how may I help you. Can I have your name and the first line of your address please thank you?”

Yes hello Ranjeet - Here we go again. I gave my name etc - Yes I am the account holder. (Stupid question to ask: “Are you the account holder? Why not just look at the details on your screen when you bring up the account?)

“I’m having problems with using ftp over the internet and am unable to access my server at my web-host.” I continued. “BT are aware of this matter and are working to resolve it. Would you tell me how much longer you expect the matter to take until it’s resolved please.”

“You can’t access the internet?” Came the reply.

I think I used the word pillock in what I said next before I repeated myself.

“It is a problem with your server.” Said the Indian

(I’ve edited out the next few lines to make this blog fit for publication.)

“I will find out for you. Please to be holding the line. What is ftp?”

“File Transfer Protocol” I replied; amazed at the lack of knowledge. “I thought you were trained? This is a technical helpline isn’t it? - It bloody well better be as it’s the only one that’s open!”

“I will find out for you.”

The line went silent for a while and then was hung up.

“‘Cheeky f—ing bleeders!” I hit the roof.

To cut a long story short; after partly-demolishing a door that I didn’t like, I went through all that again to be told by a very gently-mannered Indian woman that nobody had a clue as nobody had been informed of it.

“Fair comment.” I thought; thanked her for her time, and rang the BT Broadband Status line, which told me that there were no problems at all with BT Broadband. I tried to connect via ftp again and got the same result. I phoned Fasthosts again, who confirmed that BT were fully informed and working on it.

- An ISP that lies; both by telephone message and by half-baked computer-illiterate representative. An ISP that neglects to inform its staff of major issues so that they can be of any help to its customers. An ISP that promises a service and ruins the experience of that service for its customers; then lies about it, and keeps everyone in the dark.

You’re wondering “Since you’ve had all this trouble with BT lately; why don’t you change ISP?”

I’d love to; but they give me material for my blog as part of their excuse for a service, so it can’t be all bad.

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It’s called the iPhone Apps Blacklist Feature; and sitting at the remote-cut-off controls of your iPhone is none other than Steve Jobs himself; playing god with your purchase.

It must be a comforting thought for all iPhone users that the great Steve Jobs has control over what Apps you can run on your iPhone that you paid for.

Jobs said that the intent behind the capability is “high minded”: It sounds to me like a case of a control-freak mentality:

“I am the great Steve Jobs; God’s boss, and I shall decree with my awesome power what you will and will not have on your iPhone.”

“Hopefully, we never have to pull that lever,” Jobs said, “but we would be irresponsible not to have a lever like that to pull.”

It certainly removes a massive element of control by not having it.

What next? MacBooks saying “I’m sorry user; but Steve Jobs has decreed that you are not allowed to run this program; however there is a similar program available from Apple for $$$”?

Apple allegedly need this function to deactivate potentially hazardous software: In other words so that they can instantly defeat any attempt at hacking or at running any open-source Apps from the Open-Source club and the Linux zealots etc.

Last week there was a rumbling and concern amid reports of the so-called “Kill-Switch-Ability” This week the Apple CEO confirmed it himself. We used to think that Microsoft impinged upon personal freedom in computing: This, however, makes Microsoft’s previous alleged control-freak mentality less than academic.

John Gruber of Daring Fireball spoke with an “informed source” at Apple on Friday, who confirmed the presence of a URL inside the iPhone’s Core Location API that downloads a blacklist of applications designated as malicious. Independent iPhone developer and author Jonathan Zdiarski discovered the URL earlier in the week.

Remember; when you are using your iPhone; big Uncle Steve is watching!

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XP has a built-in sound recorder that you can use to make .MP3, .WAV, etc, files from a microphone. This is especially useful when recording a voice track for a song, or a bit of talking; such as reading a limerick or an audible greeting.

It can be called up via the command line; but to save time and hassle, plus remembering the command to use when you need it, you can put an icon on your desktop which you just click when you need it

How to make an icon to click ( in XP.):

Right-click on a blank area of your desktop (Where there are no icons.) and mouse-over “New” in the box that appears. Click “Shortcut”. Another box appears asking you to type the location of the item: Enter in the full command:

“sndrec32”

and click next.

It now asks you to type a name for this shortcut: I named mine “Sound Recorder”; because that’s exactly what it is.

Click next, the box vanishes, and a loudspeaker icon appears on your desktop.

Now let’s put a volume control icon on the desktop too: Clicking this has the same effect as double-clicking the little loudspeaker icon in your system-tray; but it’s much more handy to have it on the desktop.

As before; right-click on a blank area of your desktop (Where there are no icons.) and mouse-over “New” in the box that appears. Click “Shortcut”. Another box appears asking you to type the location of the item: Enter in the full command:

“sndvol32”

and click next.

It now asks you to type a name for this shortcut: I named mine “Volume Control”; once again because that’s exactly what it is.

Click next, the box vanishes, and an icon appears on your desktop. - Thus:

- Target neutralised.

——

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A very useful icon to have on your desktop, if you’re like me and use this window a lot, would be a Device Manager icon: Rather than clicking Start>Control Panel>System>”Hardware” tab>”Device Manager” button; a 5-stage operation, you could instead just click a single icon on the desktop.

Unfortunately Microsoft, in their infinite wisdom, didn’t include a Device Manager desktop icon by default in XP - But fear not: You can create your own:

It’s just an icon that sits on the desktop with all the rest of them.

How to make an icon to click (Done in XP.):

Right-click on a blank area of your desktop (Where there are no icons.) and mouse-over “New” in the box that appears. Click “Shortcut”. Another box appears asking you to type the location of the item: Enter in the full command:

“%windir%\system32\devmgmt.msc”

and click next.

It now asks you to type a name for this shortcut: I named mine, strangely enough, “Device Manager”. Why? Because it’s a shortcut icon to the Device Manager - innit?.

Click next, the box vanishes, and an icon appears on your desktop. - Target neutralised.

Any time you want to call up the Device Manager, just click the icon: It really is that simple.

Fire Your Computer Technician!

A computer technician spills the beans and makes available the knowledge he has charged clients hundreds in service fees for.

CLICK HERE