(April Fool’s post 2011.)

A project of extreme technological innovation, originally pioneered by Matthew Lockyer during 2009/10, but abandoned due to a shift in commercial interest within Lockyer’s business affairs, has reportedly been resurrected and continued by Google Inc in the USA.

Lockyer pioneered the idea of, and later demonstrated a practical application of, the transference of matter as data across the net, using a stream-banded data-compression-algorithm nicknamed TransdatLayer Protocol. During 2010 he managed – with some success – to send a cup of his partner Jules’ tea to a number of other people online who had a specialised hi-technology top-secret piece of hardware attached to their computer; this blog’s owner being one of those people mentioned.

(Although the cup materialised on my receiver-transmat-pad with a number of hairline cracks in it, the tea which it contained did indeed taste exactly like the same top-quality and well-made cuppa which I’ve shared with Jules in the past; therefore the attempted matter replication and transference indeed to my mind did appear to be a total success.)

Following this practical demonstration of his invention, it was assumed that the entire project was discontinued due to financial constraints combined with a paradigm-shift related to Lockyer’s business-interests in relation to expansion and refurbishment of his online network of public webcams in the South of the UK. What Lockyer had actually done was to sell the idea and the accompanying technologies to Google for their further development, and had used the profits from this sale of his invention to continue business on a different level.

Google created contracts with all those who knew anything about this project, and paid them an undisclosed amount of money to stay silent about, and/or deny ever having witnessed, Lockyer’s initial experiment. There was even a reputed though hushed-up legal dispute in which Google reportedly sued one of these individuals for alleged breach of contract when they attempted to replicate and continue Lockyer’s research under their own efforts.

I may, therefore, appear to be taking a rather large risk in revealing this information at this point in time. I have, nevertheless, been keeping tabs on Google’s progress with the project, and have been made aware that Google are due to make an announcement of some kind with regard to their ongoing research next week. I have, therefore, obtained permission, under the terms of my contract, to go public with this scoop, ahead of the forthcoming announcement.

In all honesty I wish that there was more that I could tell you; however Google refused to release any technical information ahead of their announcement. – Indeed they refused to reveal anything at all other than the fact that they would be going public with the hitherto-secret project in an announcement to be made at a press-gathering to be arranged for a day during next week.

I do, however, have  access to certain leaked information, and as a result of such leakage can tell you that Google are intending to release an entirely new social-networking site which will utilise their further innovation of internet-transmatter-technology in allowing those using the social-network to literally share a drink of some kind as they chat across the miles of cable between them.

New additional pieces of hardware will have to be purchased by users, in order to be able share drinks via the online-transmatter-technology. I believe that there is also an issue still outstanding in relation to this technology with regard to bandwidth. Details are sketchy, but from what I can gather, the standard pipe that feeds internet connections in people’s homes will have insubstantial bandwidth to carry the hyper-layered multi-phased compressed amount of data required to allow the technology to work optimally.

Indeed it appears from my sources that although Google may have perfected the original technology as created by Lockyer, they are still facing hurdles such as limited bandwidth in most situations where this new technology would be best utilised, in addition to the fact that the new units will initially cost over 10,000 dollars each when production and manufacturing are scheduled to begin later in this year.

As for whether or not this technology will take off at this time I can only give a reasonable guess as my opinion in the light of absence of all the necessary information: My opinion is that it will be utilised in a centralised commercial fashion initially, until the technology is further miniaturised and refined, in addition to a new protocol being developed which allows higher data-compression and therefore lowers the requirement to utilise massive bandwidth – that is to say much more bandwidth than is available to the average consumer.

Personally I initially see a new generation of internet-cafes springing up to utilise the technology, equipped with a bar containing every drink imaginable that its’ punters can share with their online-chat contacts over the internet using the new Google technology. Following that; who knows what? Technology and innovation move so fast these days: This April – transmitting cups of tea online; next April – transmitting human beings over the internet maybe? Who can say?